Sunday, October 18, 2009

Preparing for our first "home visit"....

Our journey began almost 3 1/2 years ago... Even before we were married we talked about adoption, it was always in the future-tense always after we had our "own" (biological) children. After years of infertility treatments, and many losses! We have come to realize that more than we want babies who look like us... We just want BABIES!! no matter what they look like, we just want to be parents. So about 3 weeks ago we found a social worker, called her and began this intense process!! First things first, we had to get our fingerprints done (2x for each of us) at the police station, i was nervous... Andrew just kept telling me to relax it was no big deal, but he was nervous too! haha the sheriff that was taking our prints had lots of questions for us and was VERY nice which eased our minds... then we had to fill out our FBI child abuse clearance forms! (so many questions) and signature release forms (still not sure what that's for?).. we overnight ed all of the forms to our social worker Brenda, and now we just wait and prepare for this next chapter of our lives...

It wont be along wait because our 1st "home visit" is on this Friday the 23rd! Andrew has already taken off work, we have spent the whole weekend cleaning and organizing the house, cleaning the walls, touching up paint, organizing cabinets and closets (just in case she looks in them lol) we have sent out the questionnaire form to our family and friends and lined up almost, all of our references... there is much more to do though...

I must admit i am really "loosing my marbles" over all of this... I'm a nervous wreck! Andrew is the complete opposite, very calm and collected... he just keeps saying,"Hunny, BE YOURSELF!" and i look back at him thinking, how?? this one person holds all the cards in determining whether we are "allowed" to be parents or not! I find my mind frequently swirling into worries of... what should i wear? (what does a "good" mother wear?), what should i bake that morning, to fill the air with lovely smells,(what is a "good" parents smell??) I'm contemplating making homemade applesauce, cookies, or muffins... i cant decide so maybe ill just make all 3!!:) haha We've already set up a grooming appt for the dogs, so they don't "scare" her off one the first visit with their excitement. We're buying a new coffee maker (the kind that grounds the coffee first) so we can make her a cup of yummy coffee! -- if she even drinks coffee!!

**according to our social worker this whole home study process should take about 8 weeks and being as we are about 2 weeks in... we just have about 6 weeks to go, before we are officially "Paper Pregnant"!!**

-Paper Pregnant is the term used for adoptive parents who have an approved home study that are waiting for the placement of their child/children...

There are 3 options to choose from when looking into adoption all have pros and cons...
*There is International Adoption - where an international agency in the country of your choice "matches" you with a baby, you make trips to the country and spend time there to get your child. this is a great option for some, but it can be very expensive and require A LOT of out of the country travel... It can also take along time to get your baby!

**There is Domestic infant adoption - where you sign up with an agency or lawyer and "market" yourself to potential birth mothers who are looking to place their unborn babies for adoption. This is also a great option for some, in that it almost guarantees you will get a newborn fresh from the hospital. It can also be fairly expensive, and uncertain... as birth mom can always change her mind after placement (until her rights have been terminated) and get the baby back!

***Lastly there is adoption from the foster system - this type of adoption is the one we have chosen... once our home study is finished we will sign with our local state agency, and wait for a child that will be a good match for us to come along! We are open to any children under 3 years old... although we would prefer a newborn baby! going this route of adoption, isn't without risk... chances are we will have to "foster" our children for a while before they are available to be officially adopted and there is always a chance we could have to say goodbye to some, before our forever baby comes along! although i hope and pray we don't have to... we may get a child/children with some challenges, but we feel like these children needs loving parents all the more... and we can give them a safe, loving environment to grow and flourish!!

I will update here often and i hope that everyone will keep up with our journey and pray, pray, pray for us throughout all of this!!

Hugs & Blessings
xoxo

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